Reading & Rambling

I spent most of today reading blogs. I follow a few that I enjoy and a few more that I really should read but don't find time to. So today I took the day to read all of the blogs I follow. Did you realize that Miss Snark has stopped blogging... since 2007? Wow, I missed that. No really, I wish I had been reading her blogs when she wrote them but I had just recently added her to my list and today I finally got around to reading it and lo and behold I am late for the train once again. OK, that used up my allotment of cliques for the day. And I did in only one sentence! Yippee!

I am writing like this 'cause I know no one will read this but me. Some bloggers have this huge following and they are quoted and gushed over and recieve blog awards and all kinds of neat stuff, and me, well, nah, no one reads so I can say anything I want. lol

Heck I could add pictures of my dog and cat and no one would see them. But that is not why I have this blog. This blog is to get over being a reluctant author. To clear the cobwebs out of my brain and to write. I sometimes wonder if I have a fear of sucess. If I finish the books they will be well recieved, if they are well recieved then I will be in the spotlight, if I am in the spotlight everyone will find out what a huge phoney I am. If they find out I am just a fraud then they will stop reading my writing and then I will be back the way I was... so why write the damn things? Right? Wrong. I want to write because I enjoy putting words together and making them sing a song.
My best girlfriend and I read to each other every week. A few weeks ago she read me some of her poetry. It was stuff she had written to help her get over her childhood. And I had a difficult time telling her what I thought of it. Then Sunday I was out walking my dog with my new friend and her dog (the dogs are both collies and they just love each other!) and I finally figured out why I had such a difficult time telling her how I felt. Her work was not poetry. It was just her rambling on about how much she hated her childhood and how no one else in her family understood why they were so f''d up except her. That to me is not poetry. But I couldn't tell her that, cause I knew what she was doing. I had had to do it too awhile back. My therapist called it "reparenting" yourself. Now, I think her stuff could have been poetry. If she had constructed it just a bit differently. And I don't mean every other sentence should rhyme or anything like that. Poetry should have a rhythm, a pace, a beat. No matter what the words are they should flow together and blow the back of your mind out! That last was my ex's criteria for good poetry. Her poems did not. Now don't get me wrong. She is an awesome writer! I love listening to her stories. She is a fine and dandy story teller, in fact I am surprised that she hasn't been published yet, but as a poet... she should just for-get-about-it. There I said it and I am now ashamed of myself. She is my friend and I should support her. Give her good feedback just like she gives me. But maybe this was just a tad bit too close to home. Well, I'ved finished my glass of wine and have run out of crap to say...

Colored Pencils and Childrens Books and My First Book

I have taken on two projects. Both of these projects revolve around drawing and the use of colored pencils. The first project is creating characters and illustrations for a children's book written by a very nice woman that I met via Craigslist.
The second project I also found through Craigslist. I am trying to secure this last project. I haven't gotten the word either yeah or nay. I hope it is yeah as I will enjoy drawing dogs for the benefit of those that need adopting. The first two that I drew in anticipation of securing this position are a Border Collie with an intense stare and a German Shepard dressed in military BDU's. Now, mind you, this was at the request of the potential client and not my choice.
But now here is the difficult part. I am losing interest in the children's book. The story I am illustrating is a typical black hat vs white hat and I am sure that there is a market out there somewhere for this book. The trouble I see is that the book is very very old fashioned. But hay, who am I to rain on another authors parade? So I am going to finish the illustrations and hope that the author is happy with them.
There is another good thing on my horizon and will predicate me getting back to writing real soon. I have recieved interest from a publisher for my romance novel. Woo Hoo! I have to send them what I have and hope they like it enough to ask for the rest... reluctant author no more! My fingers are crossed.

TV the Mush Maker

OK, I have finally decided that I can not absolutely, positively, make no bones about it write while the TV is on.
My husband is a TV freak. He must have it on every waking moment. I CAN NOT STAND IT ANYMORE! There I said it. He's been underfoot for the last couple of months due to a layoff at his work, and the poor man is type A -- no hobbies, all work. Or should I say poor me? We live in this tiny condo with only one bedroom and an open kitchen/great room, which mean there is no escape inside the condo from the mushy brain maker.
So, how do I cope? I run away to the great outdoors (read the barn) or the library or the book store. But I can't write in any of those places. I've tried. Help!

Peas Porridge Hot, Peas PorridgeCold...

...Peas porridge in the pot, nine days old!

Las Vegas is deep into monsoon season and the sky is thick with gray clouds. If it weren't for the heat it would remind me of Portland, if there were more trees and grass. (That reminds me of a small haha that my ex used to say. "If we had some ham we could have ham and eggs, if we had some eggs!")
Guy is playing with the cat in the bedroom and the TV is tuned to some stupid movie staring Charlie Sheen. *sigh* No wonder I am a reluctant author... my brain is full of mush!
I did get a bit of writing done this morning. I am proud to admit that my Nefertiti novel is now about 14 pages long! At least I think it's 14 pages. I haven't printed it out yet. I guess I should, I just don't want to waste the paper yet. I've decided, I won't print it out until I have reached 100 pages. That gives me something to work towards and announce here when it happens.
I'm putting off jumping into the shower. Once I shower and dress I feel obligated to leave and run my errands. So it's time to motivate my mushy brains and go wash last nights sleep from my eyes. My horse is waiting for his bath and I have laundry to do and I'm out of half n half for my morning coffee. But its Saturday and all I want to do is surf the net and read and nap.
Procrastination runs genetically in my family.

Faux Painting ~ A Way to Avoid Writing

It's 11:51 am here in the sweltering heat of Las Vegas and I am putting off going downstairs and walking over to Sunset & Vines. That's a restaurant here at Lake Las Vegas where I used to work. Now I am just a person who paints for them on occassion. I have painted trompe l'oeil direction banners and repaired the faux paint on their walls and also painted tromp l'oeil grape clusters on wine barrels for them.
Today I have the task of writing their new menu on a huge chaulk board. I just received the updated menu in an email from the chef and looking it over I see that my task is a tad bit daunting. It's a huge menu and I have to write it out for them while standing on a counter. This should prove fun as long as no one bothers me or tries to 'help' as so often well meaning people do. It seems everyone is an art critic.
So I need to gather up my paints and my chaulk pens and head out. I'll let you know how I did and also if I wrote anything. Hey, it's painting day!

How to Avoid Your Computer

OK, I must admit, I really do want to finish my novel, but maybe I fear stuff. You know, rejection comes to mind. I have been a contributing writer on that marvelous website Panhistoria since its inception. Prior to that I wrote on the now defunct Ancient Sites. I started writing on those websites with good intentions. Those being to improve my writing and give me insight into the characters I would write about in my novels. Well, it did, both... but I have yet to get through more than 10 pages of my books. So, it brings me here.

I have created this blog to help me talk myself into writing my novel and to let other reluctant authors share my trials and tribulations. There, I have avoided my computer for another day!